the thing is
most of beauty of those pictures you're in
have little to do with the photographer.
the thing is,
there is nothing like
having someone in your room
who you want to kiss but dont.
there is nothing like
having someone in your room
who you kiss but are apathetic towards.
there is nothing like
having someone in your room who you want to kiss and do and like it.

you looked wonderful in that dress
and i kan be a koward.

and you, you looked best with nothing on.
i'd never seen such a body
what a wonderful unwrapping.
those curls in my face
into my blood.
and you looked best when your mouth was open
with words pouring out.
everytime, my god my god.
i would have died to eat you alive.
i treated things like a barbarian,
but there's never been anything i wanted to treat more like paper or a sunrise.

and you, you always looked great,
but i can barely remember those months we spent.
i remember the time,
but slowly, slowly
that is all thats there.
random scenes
conversations.
but i dont remember how you feel
under my finger tips
and i dont remember how it felt
when we watched cartoons on that red couch.
all it does is make me feel bad.
i was rotten.

and now
a vague plethora of underdeveloped,
fresh opportunity.
i dont know much of this.
but i know i will be finding things
in ways that i'm foreign.
i am excited
and apathetic as fuck